Indulge: Hodgepodge

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

I am super restless, today. This time last week, I was elated. This time the week before, I was holding it down as best I could. Last Tuesday, I felt depressed. Last Sunday, elated. I could go on and on.

My moods have been a story of extremes and I am doing everything I can to fix it. Except, I stopped doing the chart, and I stopped eating healthy. Two things that were starting to get me through.

So today was particularly rough. I spent the morning talking to Dan, and had a quasi closure discussion. Yet, it really went down deep. I don't know what it was about him, or the situation, but it truly affected me very powerfully. I also adore him still, which is hard. I actually adore several of the guys I've dated long term, which makes it harder to let it go and move on. Mostly, because if I adore them still, its likely it was mostly my fault. Even if in this case, Dan begs to differ.

I also am trying to make a pretty big decision, to buy or not buy an iphone/droid. This seems to be pretty monumental, as it could change quite a bit. It could make me dependent on the internet, feeding an addiction that is already VERY strong. It's also more money. Plus, it will just allow me to communicate with people in so many more ways, which is not a good thing. I'm already so ammeanable and I'm afraid this will make it even more so. BUT, if I have it, I might be more likely to get out of the house and not as likely to run home. When I'm at the supermarket I can look up recipes. I can do video chat, and make skype calls. I can feel more in touch with family and friends from home. I can also finally have a music player, for the first time ever. I can also get more organized and streamline.

So between Dan this morning, this Iphone decision, and having a fairly good date last night, I'm super restless and every minor decision is becoming a massive issue.

So I decided to calm down in a few ways. First, I took myself for a walk downtown to look at the iphone but also to get me outside. Then I came back and lit a candle, and had some tea. Finally, at around 9pm I broke the routine of not leaving the house and headed to Manpuku sans phone, but with my untethered soul book and started the book over.

These things helped calm me down and put things in perspective. I need to keep not taking things personally. I need to keep seeing feelings as feelings and not as the truth. They always pass, it always calm's down. But in the moment I am fried and I need to keep remembering that. Also, that I can't change everything, but as long as I always do my best, I can't fault myself.

Indulge: Silk nightgown

I don't wear nightgowns, let alone silk nightgowns. But, as I was buying new glasses, at JcPenny it caught my eye and I decided to go for it. So I cleaned my sheets and wore it at night. Wow, so its not comfy whatsoever. So fail, a big fat fail!

indulge: smoothies

I finally learned how to use my magic bullet! Thanks to my friend Deb(and Aileen ). THe banana makes all the difference!! I've been making these for breakfasts for snacks. They are delicious!!

Indulge: Face mask

My new indulgence this week has been the face mask. I bought one at Pharmaca, and have been using it in the freezer. Some nights its too cold to put on and I have to remember to take it out earlier. However, I do have to remark that the one night I didn't use it I had the best morning. So perhaps I'll have to work on something better for next week.

Indulge: Candles

This is one of my new categories. I am keeping it in the place of indulgent and once I figure this thing out I might change the name too, but as of now I don't want to mess with the numbers.

I have officially decided to dress up every day with makeup and conscious attention to my outfit. SO far I have done this everyday!! So as I am focusing on my outward appearance, I am using this category to give myself a break inside. To appreciate and live in the present. To reward myself for good deeds.

So this week I have been using the candle as my indulgement. Last night, as I had people over I lit some votive candles, and two nights ago I lit scented candles in my room as I read and played on the computer!!

Its subtle but it creates a relaxing environment and shows me how something so little can have such a large impact!!

Dress up: Make up

EVERY DAY!

Since I came back from down South, and spending a few days with my girls in SF, I realized that I don't really put enough into my appearance, and my general well being. SO to change this, I have actually worn make up every day this week!!!! As of the new year, I think this category will change. Ideas include, nice restaurant, indulge, or?????

Dress up: Heels and red lipstick

Friday night, I wore a regular outfit, although I got some definite guy attention for my T shirt which was nice. But I wore my heeled boots, which actually wound up being an impediment to dancing and wound up ditching them in order to do so.

Saturday night, I wore a dress up outfit and did not wear alot of make up but did have red lips and a red hair tie to off set my black sweater.

Dress up: Santa-Con

So I spent a while in my head putting this together, and I was very proud of myself. It consisted of mary jane shoes(starting from the ground up), black leggings, white tank top and red lingerie, a black scarf and my red jacket. I also put makeup on including my red red lipstick! Santa approved!!

Dress up: Hair?

So I have done very little with my hair recently save putting a hair band in it. So since I have some time today, I decided to curl it. I want to know how long the curl will last before I start curling it more often, now that it is getting colder.

Dress up: CIA

So at school, we are split up into houses, or an interdisciplinary group of teachers, that teach the four core subjects(math, science, english, social studies) who all share the same students, instructional strategies etc. I spent a day in my class allowing the students come up with the names. The three top choices was: The Brain Gang, Knights of Knowledge and the CIA-The Claremont Intelligence Agency. It was a close race but CIA pulled through.

So we had the Claremont Auction tonight, to raise money for the school and since it was on Halloween weekend, it was dress up, and so Pam the math teacher, convinced me to dress up like a spy, or a CIA agent. I think I looked more like Russian Mafia. Especially with the coat I was wearing, but I was close!

Dress up: Tour guide

I dressed up professional today as I was acting as a San Francisco tour guide. I wore minimal make up, a gray headband a long sweater with a belt and, wait for it....HEEELSdr

Dress up: Manveer's Party

I have been really putting in the effort since I began this! One day a week I put some time and thought to what I look like, with the hope that it permeates throughout all the days!

Today I wanted to have a simple outfit and to play up the hair and the makeup. My goal in the future is to do more with my hair. Especially since I had to redo my eyes, as I looked like I had a black eye. Either way, this is my attempt. I spent nearly an hour on this!

Dress up: New shirt

In Vegas I scored 5 new tops and a pair of pants at Limited for $100! I've been featuring them all week at school, but saved the best one for tonight! I also put on light make up, but no major eye make up. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture with the shirt. :(

Dress up: Out on the town

This is the first time in a VERY long time that I dressed up two nights in a row. But c'mon its Vegas. The second night I really tried to take a picture of my eye makeup, but all I really got was a series of really creepy pictures..

Dress up: Ellie's party

Off to Ellie's party in Santa Rosa, I decided to do a day make up and a strapless dress.

Dress up: Makeup

So a few weeks ago, my mom got me money to buy makeup. It has sat in the box ever since...until Thursday evening. Was going out in the city for a friend's last night out and I thought it would be a perfect time to bust out my make up. I had bought this little set, where all the colors go together. With them help of my roommate Mike and his friend Michelle, I was able to create an eye look that I think worked! I got several compliments on it at the bar! I'm not sure if the pictures really show the eye makeup, but you can see my attempt. It was also super humid out for some reason, hense my hair. My outfit was a purple sleeveless top that I put with a black belt A-line position and skinny jeans! Living with boys makes it harder to have good pictures taken of me.

Dress up: Wine Country Dress

When I was in England, I bought what i believe to be one of the greatest dresses of all time. It was 24 pounds, which worked out roughly to be $50 US, one of the most expensive dresses I think I own. Its white with little flowers all over it! I love when I wear it, except that it had this little peculiarity in it that itched me on one shoulder. Finally after years of owning this dress I have fixed that!

I put the dress on today, as I did last year when I went wine tasting, and I have dubbed it, my wine country dress. Starting next week, I am hoping that dress up, will also include make up!!

Dress up: Professional

I'm still playing with this category quite a bit. I am giving myself credit today, because it was the first day of school, I wore a smart looking dress and I biked in it!!! It's a subtle red patern, with a belt(ok ok, it came with a belt) and I got several compliments! For the biking part I threw some leggings underneath it, hiked it up and hit the road!!

Dress Up: Dress

I dressed up today. I did not put on makeup, although I probably should have but I looked very pretty, judging by the compliments I received. :) I wore my green flarey outey dress! I can't find a picture of it!

Work hard, Play hard.

I started off the summer pretty rough. I heard some upsetting news, and I went through a lot of change, which is something I suck at.

Yet, I overcame, and for over a month I had an absolutely excellent summer. For the first time in my life I completely enjoyed free time.

But the school year is starting again, and I tend to get super wrapped up in it and super emotional so I am trying to give myself an outlet, actually 8 outlets.

I have created a chart for myself, and this blog to keep myself accountable. Each week, in addition to all the things I need to do in order to keep myself alive(laundry, sleep etc), and the money flowing(work), I am committing myself to complete activities in eight categories.

Drum roll please....

Dress up-I tend to ignore my body and my looks. An entire day can go by where I don't look in a mirror. While I am not intending to be superficial, I would like to spend at least one day each week getting ready and taking care of myself. It could be for work, for a date, or for an evening out on the town.

Reading-This one is pretty obvious, but I am actually an avid reader, who can sometimes go for weeks without reading, since I ignore my need to learn.

Nature-Being outside, and breathing in the air, centers me and calms me in a way that little else can. I am committing to do this at LEAST once a week. It can be as little as sitting in my backyard for an hour or more, or as much as, hiking, paddle boating etc.

Physical-Except for getting physical. I mean Elle said it perfectly when she said "Exersize produces endorphins, endorphins make you happy and happy people just don't shoot their husbands." I mean I need to protect my fictitious husband right?

Cooking-While I am not an awful cook, I tend to stay towards the stuff that I know how to cook, which sucks really, because I have all these great cookbooks, so I need to cook at least one new meal a week!

Movie-So my house, the apartment I live in, is HOOKED up! They have, or can have nearly every movie I could ever want just by a click of a mouse!! Since I tend to stick to VERY girly movies, I intend to watch one new movie each week. This does not necessarily mean a brand new movie, it just means a new movie to me, one that I have not seen. This can be anything from the Godfather, to Inception. Please suggest movies that you think I should see!!

Cultural-This one is a late arrival, and might be a little difficult to always complete, yet I want to do something each week that is touristy in some way. This can be going to a new restaurant, heading to a museum, or hitting up an outdoor market! Since I do intend to go away, I will also count sleeping at a house not at my own(but not like just crashing somewhere else), to give myself a little wiggle room here. This category was initially going to be social, but since I do that pretty naturally, I wanted to expand it a bit. It should include others!

Creative-It is this category however, that I want to bolster the most. It is also the one I am most worried about succeeding at. I am by nature a very crafty person and even have an artistic bone or two in my body. Yet, I have gotten so lazy, or forgetful of my talents, that I had to buy a book entitled "Get a Hobby", just to remind myself of my own interests. I have rested on my interests being education and travel for so long, that I feel as though I am one dimensional. I am depending on this category to add some more dimensions, and passions to myself!

So tune in every few days, as I reflect on the different categories. I am publishing this, so I keep myself honest, but the benefit to you is you could learn about a new book, a new/old movie, a new hiking spot, something cultural in the area, a new recipe, a new outdoor spot etc. So please hold me to this!

I need to be a well rounded individual, and not a traveling, teaching robot!