Creativity: Cards

So innitially I wanted one of my categories to write a card each week, and have it be this cathartic process. Also, who really writes cards anymorees. And really, doesn't everyone love receiving cards? I mean I remember in College that was all I wanted to receive. But I'm starting to become an adult(just starting), and I realize that I should start getting better at cards. So I decided to write a few today as my "creativity". I'm also super sick and trying not to talk today so I can get ready for my dress up/cultural event this weekend LAS VEGASSSS

Movie: The Terminator

So lately I have been sticking to 80s movies. All I can say is, I cannot believe that man is now our governor. I know I'm behind the times a bit, but I finally get the ridiculousness of it all!!

The movie had an interesting story, a dystopia created by going back in time and creating it. Very interesting. I am curious to see #2, as supposidly the governator is a good guy? I can't believe it!

I am actually glad that it wound up becoming quite unbelievable by the end, as not to get nightmares! I tend to scare easily!

I also am super sad that the line "come with me if you want to live" was super not dramatic whatsoever. That's like a classic line said in the most un passionate way.

Nature: Lake Merrit

I missed nature last week. While I was in nature at the festival and just in general, I did not devote a period of time to nature, so I wanted to make sure to get it done this week. I went for a walk with Liz around Lake Merrit. When I first moved here the Lake was one of my favorite places in the area. While I don't go as much, I have to say it still is. In 3 miles, around this man made lake(it was originally a tributary), you see residential, public, commercial, a bird sanctuary, farmers markets, you name it! I love the lake!

I also realized that I really haven't been working out much! That three mile walk really knocked the wind out of me! My legs, back, I was even out of breath! I really think I need to be kicking it up a notch physically! I've been getting super stressed, and I always forget the power of physical-ness.

Reading: Prep complete

It is incredible how much this character is like my own. I read the commentary in the back and they talk about how she is not a likeable character, however, and I completely disagree. She was real and she was honest. She was doing all she could, or at least how she thought she could.

This book really makes me realize how important good friends are. I felt similar to her through much of highschool, because I didn't really give myself a support system. I had some good friends, but no real circle. It wasn't until senior year that I had my own little group!

Then I reverted back in college, to my old mindset, which is similar to Lee's in the story. I had super low self esteem, questioned everything and everyone, and was not fun, for lack of a better way to say it. It wasn't until the last two years, where I pretty much existed through the eyes of my boyfriend, who did genuinly like me for me. The problem was, I didn't know how to be like that in front of others. I was constantly on alert, waiting for people to do I'm not even sure what. Unfortunately, he wasn't enough, and I was depending on him way too much.

Then in grad school I finally started to feel right again, and had a great group of friends. That continued in South East Asia and minus a rough first year, that continues now in Oakland. It is incredible how healing it is for people to see you and appreciate you for who you are.

I don't know where I went wrong in college exactly. I know, I still have many of the gut reactions to people and situations, especially with people taking advantage or disrespecting me, that I did back then. However, I also have these friends and family that will and have supported me through so much. I am so lucky to have found them, and from the looks of it, over and over and over again.

So what it really looks like, is that the 12 year old that still lurking inside there needs to grow up. The 18 year old who let her father choose her college, she needs to grow up too. She needs to realize how good she has it, how much she has grown, and her internal monologue, needs to quiet down to a whisper, or to nothing.

It's crazy how much you can learn from a book. It's also fun to talk about yourself in third person!

Cooking: Sourdough Strata with Tomatos and Greens

Stolen, as a camera pic from some magazine at the grocery store. We'll see how this turns out. I've done the prep work, but it needs to cool overnight. We'll see if I wake up early enough to even make it for tomorrow?

Reflection: week 5

This week was a tough one. I had a lot of trainings this week that put a damper on filling out my chart. I was also super irritable and grumpy this week, taking my rath out on several innocent and non innocent bystanders.

I can't decide though if the balance chart is helping or hurting. I really like it and enjoy how much it keeps me honest. I am definitely going to see it more though, as a guide. I would like to do all of them, but if I don't, to make sure I do that one in the next week. Due to work constraints, the movie, and creativity barely happened and nature was unable to happen.

I am also wondering if there are other factors that are severely affecting my mood such as birth control or "climate" at work? These are very strong factors and I'm sure that its really a combination. I have just felt this week that I wanted to take a break from everything. Work took up soo many extra hours this week, but also this week/weekend was full of great events to take part in. It was really tough.

Should I give in and just face that I only get to have a life on break times, do I screw the balance chart and learn meditation? I think for now I'll skate a long a few more weeks and see what happens.

Cultural: Now and Zen Fest

Free concert: Check
Golden Gate Park: Check
Plain White T's: Check
Natasha Bedingfield: Check
Sara Bareilles: Check
90 degree weather: Check
Miquila and Aileen: Priceless
Overall a super fan! Not too crowded, but crowded enough!! Loved hearing the songs that I know. Not too super excited about Sara Bareilles though. Her songs are great, and I'm a huge fan of her, but her onstage persona was not at all a match to her songs. She was drunk, I think, or she kept saying it, and she just seemed like a total ditzy party girl. So not too impressed, but otherwise, an EXCELLENT time!!

Dress up: Ellie's party

Off to Ellie's party in Santa Rosa, I decided to do a day make up and a strapless dress.

Creativity: Cake Decorating

Ellie, my old roommate, is leaving for Mexico. Super sad, but gave me a great opportunity to be creative! Knowing my old, old, old roommate Amy was into cake decorating, I decided to call her up and enlist her help to make and decorate(the creative part) a cake. Chose a cookie cake instead of traditional cake and had wayyyyy to much fun using her little decorating tool. When all was said and done, it actually looked pretty ridiculous, mostly because I decided I couldn't waste any of the frosting, so the entire box of confectionery sugar, plus stick of butter, plus whipping cream is completely on the cookie cake!!

Note to reader, I am already ashamed at the amount of sugar/frosting there is on the cake. This is why I am not even showing you the absolute finished product.

Movie: Neverending Story

Not even bothering with a picture for this movie. I'm sure that it would have been good if I watched it as a 10 year old boy. However, I watched it as a 27 year old girl. The original message of the movie, that the kid should not have his head completely in the clouds was very justified. Running around thinking his imagination is going to save him from bullies cannot really help him in the real world.