Reading: Veronika Decides To Die

I have been very hesitant, if I want to read this book or not. I tend to get influenced by ideas pretty easily because of my openmindedness and I was worried that it might be a sensitive topic. Yet, this is surprisingly not a depressing book. Within the first few pages, the reader is already witnessing her first suicide attempt. In her explanation, she is clear that she is not depressed, or sad, but she feels like the world is vapid, or repetitive. She thought there was no reason for living, because she thought she had done it all. She had friends, boyfriends, a good job, good family, etc and didn't know what else would change, so she might as well leave on her own terms.

So her attempt doesn't work, and instead has her wind up in an insane assylum. Through her own processing, and conversations with others, the reader gets to understand a critique on society. At this point, this is my favorite quotation. "Once in a mental hospital, a person grows used to the freedom that exists in the world of insanity and becomes addicted to it. You no longer have to take on responsibilities, struggle to earn your daily bread, be bothered with repeitive, mundane tasks. You could spend hours looking at a picture or making absurd doodles. Everything is tolerated because after all the person is mentally ill...They no longer had to hide their symptoms and the "family" atmosphere helped them to accept their own neuroses and psychoses." It continues on this line of reasonings, offering that society is created to keep people in order, beginning with Adam and Eve. The premise that people cannot handle chaos, and are afraid to be crazy. It's an interesting perspective!

One neurosis that the main character has, that I to have is the constant feeling that I am bothering others. An ancillary character comments on this thought, "Stop thinking all the time that you're in the way, that you're bothering the person next to you. If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they dont' have the courage to complain, that's their problem."

So far, the book has not been depressing in the least, and instead has been very thought provoking as many of Paulo Coehlo books are! About half way through now, looking forward to the end!
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