Reflection: Week 10

I have already thrown in the towel for this week for not doing any cooking. I have enough food here for the week not to do cooking and I'm sure I'll start off with it next week. Also I think I've done a pretty good job of skipping everything once except movie, cultural and dress up. So if I have to skip something next week, it should be one of those! I also think that it is CRAZY that I have not missed cultural. Think about it, in ten weeks I have not a weekend where nothing is really going on. That is crazy to me!

I think, even though I love the activities that I am doing every week that this is not meeting its intended outcome. This was supposed to calm me down and its not doing it anymore. My mind is racing about everything, my stomach is in knots, and I keep going through these periods of intense sadness, followed by periods not of elation, but periods where I can't believe I was so sad. I don't like it and I don't really know what to do about it. This was in large part my preventative measure and it worked great when I wasn't stressed, but now that I am starting to be stressed its only providing a momentary escape. My sensitivity and grumpiness has started to already cause problems with me and relationships with others that I hope are not reversable. It's not who I am, its just sometimes what happens when I let everything get to my head. I don't like that I get like this. I am trying to eat healthy and commit to more exersize as that seems to help, but otherwise I'm worried its just going to get worse.