Reflection: Week 20

Well, this week started off really strong. I had three done by Monday, yet Tuesday-Thursday I didn't touch another one, which left the weekend to do them all. I really slacked off this week.

I also really struggled this week. While I've been keeping up a dating life regardless if I have something serious crop up, I've been putting in more of an effort since the beginning of the year. I'm trying to practice these skills of not being too needy and not taking things personal and the first time I really got to experiment with that I kinda failed miserably. I acted totally irrational and had massive anxiety and only realized it after the fact. So I had three dates this week, partly why I didn't get my chart done and one was not good(he informed my that my salt intake goes up the more I eat out), one ok, but no sparks, and one sparks but not a good guy. Of course it was that one that had me acting pretty irrational within a few hours. He was very similar to this guy I used to date, and dated over and over again. He was super pushy when he wanted something, but then kinda disappeared when he couldn't follow through. I need to realize that this doesn't work for me, yet this is the guy that I always have the spark with!

I have at least narrowed my ideal guy down to these four characteristics. He needs to be genuine(follow through, mean what you say), adventurous(likes to travel, thinks outside box, enjoys nature), playful(strong sense of self, sense of humor, fun) and has something intelligent to contribute. I realize that most of the guys that I meet are very playful and adventurous but not genuine. Or genuine but not playful and adventurous. Most of the boys I've been meeting are smart.

So Saturday night was Miquila's party and I was super excited for it and wound up having a great time. I even met a guy who seems to fit into the characteristics above, and I had an amazing time with him. He is pretty clear that he is into me, but hes not ready for a relationship right now. Either way, I think he'll be a really great new friend and gives me hope that this guy that I think would be good for me actually does exist, even if its not him!

I also met up with another 6th grade history teacher and pretty much planned out the year which is GREAT! I feel so relieved to be knowing where I'm going.

All in all a great week, with just a pretty crappy Saturday morning/afternoon. Otherwise, eventful, fun and I have a strong sense of completion!(except my actual chart of course!)

Nature: None

It rain-ed.

Movie: None

Had no time

Reading: Sea of Poppies

I transition over to this book for the World History book club this week and have read about 15 pages. It is fairly interesting, I just didn't have that long to read it and feel horrible that I was unable to.

Creative: Swirly nails

My friend Carly had these funky swirls on her nails at the bar a few weeks ago. I asked her about it and she said it was super easy, so she sent me the youtube and a creative endeavor was born. I bought the supplies and brought them over to Miquila's before the party and played with it for a bit before the party. This is how it came out. Used the video almost to a T. It was fun and looks pretty cute but is a bit messy and hard to clean up. Carly seemed to have the most success with it!

Cultural: Ethiopian Restaurant

Had a date Friday night, and went here. It's the first time I've ever been to an Ethiopian restaurant. It was very similar style to the amazing meal I had in the Beduin tent in Israel. I ordered the lamb, but they didn't have any non spicy sauce, which kinda sucked. Overall though, I really liked it. Next time I go I'll have to go with a meat eater, so we can do a little switcheroo.

Cooking: Salmon with Pineapple Salsa

At least this wasn't a failure. This was AMAZING. I'll post pictures soon when I get around to it. The only modification I made was Cilantro instead of Basil, which I believe lead to what I find to be a near perfect meal! I paired it with a bread from Berkeley Bowl!

Physical: PiYo

I have worked out three times this week. The first being with G, the second on Monday and today I tried out PiYo with Stacy. PiYo is pilates and Yoga put together. Every 6 months or so for the past few years I have gone to a Yoga class thinking it would be a good way to calm down and be healthy and yadda yadda. Until I remember, I'M THE LEAST FLEXIBLE person EVER. I always leave feeling so miserable. I have never absolutely sucked at something so bad right away. So another fat failure.

Indulge: Silk nightgown

I don't wear nightgowns, let alone silk nightgowns. But, as I was buying new glasses, at JcPenny it caught my eye and I decided to go for it. So I cleaned my sheets and wore it at night. Wow, so its not comfy whatsoever. So fail, a big fat fail!

reflection: Week 19

This week has been incredibly reflective.

I have not only been able to understand the different books and advice that I have been recieving, but have been able to use it as well!

A few things(and their sources) that I believe I am finally starting to get a handle on.

Not taking things personally. I first really read this concept in a book called the four agreements. His essential premise is NOTHING people do are because of you! While I saw the logic, I was really struggling on how to truly internalize it. Especially with guys and with work. My friend Liz, in the classroom is a perfect example of this. She doesn't see the kids as being against her. She sees them as needing different support that we need to provide. Our job is to teach them, and of course they are going to get it wrong. But the more we take personally, the more tenuous it gets. She did remark that certain people are born/nurtured with that quality and it might be hard to learn. However, I realized, I do know it. I've always known it with parents, with customers as a waitress or a retail associate. I've known it with most professional endeavors and recently have internalized it with friends. Once I realize that I have very little to do with an interaction, I can look rationally at it and then figure out how to solve it/work with it.

Going in hand with that are two other principals that often get me in trouble, and that is don't make assumptions(also from four agreements) and very little of what goes on you have control over(Untethered soul). There is a peace in truly understanding both of these things.

Also directly related, is the idea that Eleanor Roosevelt says "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." My friend Troy in highschool said something quite similar, and I never could figure out how, but he lived it through his example. It's taken me 10 years, but I think I finally get it. Once you decide nothing is personal, you decide, or make a choice on how things affect you. I didn't think it worked that way and didn't realize I had that power (which is really the only power you have).

And to add to that, realizing that people don't make you do anything. You choose to do it. I choose my anxiety everytime it comes, by not acting on it. I can self-talk my way out of it. Where I used to get trapped was that I said to myself "I shouldn't feel this way" which only fed it more. Instead, I need to do what I've been teaching my kids, "Figure out what it is, and isolate it. If you can know it or change the situation do so. If not accept you can't and move on." It's oftentimes really as simple as that! But the more you accept that you choose everything, you will help yourself out so much more and stop blaming others. You can't change other people, you can only work on changing your own thought processes. And the goal is to make yourself as happy and peaceful as possible. Or at least thats my goal!

Finally, which my friend Aimee helped me to discover, that niceness or goodness is not always necessary. I've lived my whole life with this ideal that I want to and want others to percieve me as good. This is why I didn't drink in college, or mess around, or swear. Yet, I did alot of probably not nice things, and put ALOT on other people in order for me to call myself nice. The more I realize that, what I really want to live by, is "always do your best"(another four agreement). And, if I'm always doing the best that I can, and aknowledging when I'm not, I can finally have the confidence, not to rely on my niceness or charm to get me through.

I know this is 150% stream of consciousness and might not make a whole lot of sense, but I just wanted to get this down. I might edit or expand upon next week. But I'm on the cusp of something big, that I truly believe will bring peace to myself and make me most able to help others.

Creative: casting off

I am FINALLY finished. I learned how to CAST OFF, using the link provided. It wound up being the same link that I learned it from innitially. It was actually the easiest step of the whole process. However, it could also have been that I've had so much practice at it. Can't wait to give it to Aileen! It's the width of my bed!

Nature: The Dish

My Israel friend Aimee and I went down to Stanford, her alma matter, to hit up a nature trail. It was a three mile paved loop around this hill right off of campus, that reminded me alot of this hill I climbed in Edinburgh.

While walking, we had a really great conversation, much will be present in the reflection. Aimee is, in a lot of ways, what I have been. She is soo similar to me and I want to be like "Don't do this, don't say this," because I know the strife and turmoil that follows. But either way, it felt really cool to bounce my current ideas about life on her, as it kinda felt like I was talking to a younger version of myself. However, I know I wasn't ready to really hear it AND internalize it, in a way that would have saved me any major drama.

But Aimee is an amazing person and it was great spending the day with her!!

Physical: G

So G, is a turbo kickboxing instructor that normally works at the Potrero gym I used to go to. SHe didn't always explain everything, but it was the strongest workout ever! It really kicked my ass EVERY time. Yet, I looked at the Oakland schedule and she's there for Saturdays, so I had to go!

Granted I hadn't been to the gym in over a week, but she lived up to her former glory and really kicked my ass. I felt sooo good(and sore) afterwards!

indulge: smoothies

I finally learned how to use my magic bullet! Thanks to my friend Deb(and Aileen ). THe banana makes all the difference!! I've been making these for breakfasts for snacks. They are delicious!!

Movie: History of the World Part 1

So by the name of this movie, I immediately thought it may have some application in my classroom. Then, in the first scene when the hunter gatherers are jacking themselves off, I realized I would not be getting any cirriculum support!

It wasn't super fascinating, but it was rather commical. Not exactly my sense of humor, but I appreciated knowing most of the Jewish/Historical references.

Oh and now I've seen a Mel Brooks movie!

Cultural: Torah study

Yes, you read that right. I, went, to, Torah study.

My friend Julie has been inspiring my Jewishness in me, east bay style and encouraging me to go with her to Moishe House, which is yet another option to explore your Jewishness for young people. I was super wary at first, especially beacuse the first thing we attended was a dress up shabbat dinner, but its really growing on me. The Jewishness that they focus on is not the typical money grubbing Jewish, or the caddy uppity Jewishness, but this back to the earth, spiritual, sustainable inward Judiasm, which I wish I had learned about and understood as a child. It's definitely way hippie dippie ,and if I would have found them my first year, I would have not been down whatsoever, but now I'm super into it! I have even met guys there whom I actually find interesting and potentially date-able, which is also a first with me and Jewish guys. They all seem super down to earth. Plus, its male heavy which is nice as well. Overall, I am super impressed!

Today, after dinner we read two chapters in the Torah, of Moses in the desert about to receive the commandments and then had discussion on how it affected us in our lives today. The leader of the group connected the parsha to the idea of listening and active listening at that, something I am very poor at, and made be really reflective about it. Plus, I was able to connect my history and knowledge of Ancient cultures, to a new kind of spirituality I've been developing.

Definitely a culture experience, to actually flock towards a Jewish spirituality! It's definitely a first for me.

Reading: On the road

My friend Todd gave me this book, as he said it was one of his favorites. In fact, Jack Kerouac is a hero of sorts to him. So far I am a big fan of its lyricism, stream of consciousness travel writing. Essentially he, with a bunch of his buddies defined this era, that has alot of romance for me. It is called the Beatnik generation, and essentially includes people who have a high intellect, but reject materialism and status, who believed in living in the moment and focused on Eastern religion and experimentation with everything from drugs to sex. I mean come on what's not to like?

So I've gotten to the bit where he leaves San Francisco. I'm especially enjoying reading it as I go to and from the city on the Bart. It feels like thats the proper setting for the book.

Cooking: Jacket Potatoes

When I was in England, I had these things called Jacket Potatoes. Essentially they cook the potato to make the outside nearly leathery(although it tastes amazing) and then fill other things in it. I had this several times in these pubs, with tuna and corn. So mildly referring to a recipe of sorts, I went into action.

I first washed the potato and then covered it with olive oil and salt. Threw it in the oven on 375 for 1.75 hours(agonizing time when you are hungry). I then prepared the tuna with mayonaise and threw the corn in. Finally, when it was done I threw some butter on it after I cut it open. THen put the tuna on one side, and had to have sour cream on the other :) I ate a spinach/tomato/almond/cheese salad with lemon when I first put it in the oven.

I think I may have eaten too much salt and cream.

Reflection: Week 18

This week could not have been more opposite from last week.

There were alot of external forces that made this week pretty crappy.

1-Terrible dreams! Every night for some reason, I've been having these very vivid dreams about things that normally give me fear or create anxiety within me, such as disasters, guns, past loves/lost friendships etc. Yet, I chose to see this, as a way for these negative feelings to stir up and then leave. We'll see if this is true or not.

2-Work environment. It has been toxic. The kids are running around crazy. The staff is miserable. Even the typical "yes" people are getting upset and blaming the administration, encouraging them to fix it. It's awful and waring on me. While I am doing my best to not take it so personal, even the negative energy is wearing me down.

3-Relationship. I've been talking to? I guess? This guy that I met, in Vegas and on a long shot we tried doing this undefined long distance relationship thing, where we spoke most days, and visited each other and talked of the future. But since New years, it seems to be waning quickly. I really enjoy his company and enjoy hearing from him, but fear I may have pushed it too far and ruined a really great thing in my life. I just hope that I haven't ruined it so much, that we loose touch entirely. He's a really great guy, who is very busy and lives in OC. Two very potentially insurmountable obstacles. And to add to that, I tend to be quite pushy and demanding, which makes a boy who wants to please me, feel like he never can. Another, potentially insurmountable obstacle, which I think he finally realized. So I have been quite sad this week, but think I am finally learning that I just need to stop pushing and just let things happen as they might and not try to control everything all the time. I just wish I had learned that lesson earlier.

4-Uncle Burt. He's my great uncle actually, but he passed away this weekend. He is someone who I have probably seen maybe 10 times in my life, but had a large fondness of. I'm deeply saddened that I didn't get to talk to him before he died. I didn't know really, it just snuck up on me. But its reminded me how important family is, and I'm gettng more and more worried that while I'm having a great time here, that I should really be thinking about moving to be near family. Which family I'm not really sure, but I just feel like I am missing so much. My cousins have kids that are 5, 4, 3, and 1 that I've seen like once or twice. My grandma is really sick and talking on the phone isn't enough. Even some of my good friends, I get so lonely for sometimes. Especially when I look on facebook and feel how I've missed so much and lost touch with so many because of my location. I mean I've been thinking about this stuff a while, but his passing really has put it into focus. I'm constantly feeling I want to be in 4 places at once.

So alot of stuff has happened this week. I do have to say though, while this has been the most externally negatively eventful, this has not been the worst week for me internally. I've been really trying to live by the motto "this too shall pass.", realizing that change is the only constant, and not allowing myself to get to vested or attached to anything. I realize its ok to be sad, and I have been super sad much of this week, and irritated, but I enabled myself to feel those feelings and then let them pass and not dwell within them. My anxiety level has fell off almost completely! It's super liberating to be sad and still function. It's amazing to not know what is going on in a major part of my life, which is very important to me, but still be ok. As long as I allow myself to do it, it seems to be lessening the severity.

Also, this is the first week where I did the chart in its intended form, doing one or two activities each day and letting them come to me, instead of forcing myself through them on the weekend!

So even though its been a pretty crappy week, the feelings of change and expansion are upon me, which is helping me cope positively, or so it seems.

Nature: Redwoods regional Park

This is the first true Natura I've done in a while. I headed out with Aileen/Omari and Amy/Pat, for a 2 hour hike through the Redwood hills. It was super nice to be out in nature. It was also nice to be with both guys and girls, as being a teacher, and just in general I tend to be surrounded more by girls then boys. So that was nice as well. Plus, I was able to not only go up but also be ok going down a hill, which is a huge weakness for me.

AND I got to pet a real live horse!!

Cultural: Making the best out of a rough start?

I'm grabbing at straws here and I am well aware. I did a fair amount of things this week, but none of them were truly cultural. By Thursday I realized this, so Miquila and I decided to do a Sunday bar crawl in the city and had looked up places and were all set. After a personal rough start, we headed off and every place we had looked up was closed. Accepting our rough start we went to eat, saving the bar crawl for later. We shared Tomato cream sauce gnocci and garlic bread in North Beach, then hit up a happy hour across the street that had $3 Bellini's. We then started hitting up some other bars in North Beach and then on Polk.

What makes this event so unique is a few things. First of all, drinking on a Sunday. Second of all, going out with just one person. I very rarely do something like that. Also, it really depends on the person. There are many people that I would rather sit at home at, then go to a bar with, because it seems silly to do that. So Miquila was a great person to start that with. Third of all, we went out in North Beach, which I've hardly been. And finally, which didn't happen till we got there, but continuing to go on once it kept getting rough. We were both a little grumpy and could have easily called it a day, or done something regular, but we continued on and let go any preconceptions we had, and wound up out from like 330-1130.

Overall an excellent day!

Movie: Lawrence of Arabia

One of my new goals is to watch old movies. Another goal of mine is to understand each lyric in Billy Joel's we didn't start the fire. Score! Two birds with one stone.

That unfortunately is the only "score" in this story. Lawrence of Arabia is a 3 1/2 hour long movie that focuses on his military service in SouthWest Asia during World War one. The character of Lawrence has a prophetic personality, everything he says has such certainty. He is an outcast of the British military, and jumps at the chance to work with the Beduin's on the Arabian peninsula. From then on, he "becomes native", until he sees the casualties and brutality of war, especially with the Beduin's and is conflicted and confused about his loyalties to himself, his country and his new friends.

I lost interest pretty early on, and spent most of the movie grading. I couldn't even watch it all in one sitting. It did start to get interesting towards the latter half, but I think I had missed so many nuances by half paying attention that I did not get the whole thing. I'm not really sure I got the whole point.

I do feel however, that I got the idea of war, and conflicting cultures and how they all work together. There was also a big about race, in which Lawrence feels he can't continue to be successful because of being White in an Arab world. It really did a good job of displaying different political structures and their struggle to work together successfully. As a history teacher I think I gleaned all that I could from it.

Cooking: Risotto

I got this idea from my friend Deb. I went to the store and found this box which already had the recipie on it, so I didn't find another. I pretty much followed this recipie. Started with browning onions in oil. Then browned the Risotto(like you would with rice a roni) with some butter. Then, I poured in chicken stock to cover, and let it cook for a bit, continually adding in chicken stock until I had none left and left to cook for a bit longer. I fried up the zucchini and mushrooms separately.

I ate the meal with a spinach/tomato/almond/cheese salad(lemon dressing) and I also had some cooked chard.

Creative: Hair styles

I got my hair cut on New Years Eve. It looked really great. However, I tried it again, to style it like she did and I could not. A few days later I got a call from the hair salon. They wanted to know how my hair cut experience was because she was a new stylist. I thought she was amazing and I told her so. However I said that I couldn't redo the hair style, so she offered me a complimentary consultation.

So she played with my hair for a half an hour as I tried to write everything down. What I didn't do was take pictures or in some other way try to recall the styles, in a meaningful way, so while the styles were fresh in my head I tried the styles, this time with photographic evidence. I even came up with some more!! This show Melissa and Joey, has Melissa with the same haircut as me so I've been getting alot of ideas!! Here are a few.



Post shower, blow drying and using my new ceramic round brush. Mucho volume!

Different angles, a half french braid on each side

Two small ponies, tied afterwards

Then, put the two small ponies in another pony

Half pony on bottom, then poufed up on top and secured with bobby pins

Continued hair style from above, taken loose strands and turned them into a bun with more bobby pins

Three small twists, secured with bobby pins. Then two additional pieces(one from each side) brought back with a pony tail

Hair above with sweat band

Final look for the night which included all the prep prior, plus curling each section of hair for 20 seconds total and lots of hair spray. Don't you see all the curls?

Indulge: Face mask

My new indulgence this week has been the face mask. I bought one at Pharmaca, and have been using it in the freezer. Some nights its too cold to put on and I have to remember to take it out earlier. However, I do have to remark that the one night I didn't use it I had the best morning. So perhaps I'll have to work on something better for next week.

Reading: The Queen of Sublities FINISHED

Not an amazingly different book. However, I like reading these books every once in a while to remind me of some of my favorite things. I shall not read these kind of books too much in the future as I want to really start expanding my horizons more.

I am now reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

Physical: Kickboxing

It's been a looooooooong time since I've worked out at the gym. I'd say nearly a month. I can feel it too. It's not good.

SO today, I was super low impact, but I did it, and minus a quick bathroom break I was there the whole time. I am considering going tomorrow for PiYo, a combination of pilates and yoga. THe instructor that I like from kickboxing is also leading that, so we'll see?

Reflection: Week 17

I think I am just making up numbers as of now. I have no idea which "week" I am in, especially since I keep skipping weeks that I am on break.

This week has been amazing!! I've been re-energized at work, I had friends over on Tuesday, spent most of the weekend being social in the city, had a field trip! Super exciting things! Also my attitude has gotten better.

I'm teaching the kids about attitude, and each week I am picking a different word. This week was irritation, which essentially means, you are getting something you didn't expect. I told them to cope with it, they should use this idea; "If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. This has been totally helping me. I mean I should practice what I preach, right?

Also, I've come up with a couple of resolutions of sorts! As I have pretty much sorted out my social life through this, I thought about other things I should work on.

1. Dressing up daily, instead of once a week, to give myself confidence and make me feel beautiful
   
2. emotional resiliance-being able to bounce back from things, and essentially not taking anything personally
3. trying to listen better and think before I speak. This one, obviously is the hardest one for me.

So, I think as I go through the week with my balance chart, I will also be monitoring myself on these three components. I will start today.

1. This one has been easy make up wise, and I actually have clothing that works. Unfortunately, its my shoe selection I need to work on
2. I have been amazing at this this week. Things that often I take personal, such as attitude from kids, or parents or administration, I have taken a deep breath, realized its not personal and dealt with it accordingly. I'm actually super impressed with myself with this.
3. I'm not doing soo good at the listening part, but I have been asking myself "is it important that other people need to hear this", especially in a professional way. For example, at a 4 hour meeting I only raised my hand and talked once and said something that i thought was important to share!

So overall, I'm feeling better and its showing and I'm super excited! I've been brimming with excitement most of the week, in between having my body nearly shut down from exhaustion! As long as I can get my sleeping schedule back on track I'll be alllll set!

Thanks to everyone that made this suuuuuuch a great week!

Physical: Zippo

Didn't do anything this week. Been feeling super lethargic and was super crampy on Monday, during my normal workout time! I've also been super jazzed about work and stayed til 6 three times this week which hampered my workout. However, I do need to get back into it!

Nature: Aids Memorial Grove

After weeks of saying I wanted to go, Miquila and I finally went! We meandered around Golden Gate park for a bit, until we happened upon it! I love the idea of it being a grove, like Ferngully, like a protected little space. There was someone meditating there. All in all beautiful! Only pictures are on Miquila's phone though.

Cooking: Ratatouille

So I did it, I made ratatouille, in the spirit of the movie and the pixar exhibit. And well, its baked vegetables. Amy came over to have some, until she realized that most of the vegetables she didn't like. SO she ate a tomato. Hah! Used the allrecipies.com recipie.

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 teaspoons dried parsley
• 1 eggplant, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
• salt to taste
• 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 2 zucchini, sliced
• 1 large onion, sliced into rings
• 2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms
• 1 green bell pepper, sliced
• 2 large tomatoes, chopped

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Coat bottom and sides of a 1 1/2 quart casserole dish with 1 tablespoon olive oil.
2. Heat remaining 1 tablespoon olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Saute garlic until lightly browned. Mix in parsley and eggplant. Saute until eggplant is soft, about 10 minutes. Season with salt to taste.
3. Spread eggplant mixture evenly across bottom of prepared casserole dish. Sprinkle with a few tablespoons of Parmesan cheese. Spread zucchini in an even layer over top. Lightly salt and sprinkle with a little more cheese. Continue layering in this fashion, with onion, mushrooms, bell pepper, and tomatoes, covering each layer with a sprinkling of salt and cheese.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 45 minutes.

Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 273 | Total Fat: 14.9g | Cholesterol: 22mg

Creative: Nearly done

With the scarf that is. I'm going to learn how to cast off this week. It's super long though!! It's possible it has a lot of holes as well though....

Movie: Ratatouille

I have to say, out of all the movies I have seen this year this is by far the least interesting.

My drive to watch it, was a field trip we took the kids on today to the Pixar exhibit at the Oakland Museum. With the exception of two exhibits, it to was less then thrilling.

Over the break I watched nearly half a dozen movies, classics or current blockbusters and have not been let down once.

This one however, found me constantly checking my email and facebook as I watched. Surprising as it may be.

It was a cute movie I guess, but could have been told in a lot less time. Overall not super impressed. However, in the spirit of it, perhaps I'll try to make it for my cooking this week!!

Cultural: Potluck

At Aileen's on Wednesday I was leafing through a magazine and it was talking about how people live for the weekends, when they could live the weekends everyday. They gave suggestions on how to feel a little weekend everyday. One suggestion was to have a dinner or potluck with friends on a regular basis during the week. Thus, an idea was born!

I pulled my crew together, and wound up with about 7 people at my house for a potluck.

It was soo great!! It really did feel like the weekend and gave me something to look forward to!

It was also nice because Miquila and Aileen stayed back and we wound up just doing silly little things like numerology and knitting and stuff. It was super great!

Such a great night!

Indulge: Candles

This is one of my new categories. I am keeping it in the place of indulgent and once I figure this thing out I might change the name too, but as of now I don't want to mess with the numbers.

I have officially decided to dress up every day with makeup and conscious attention to my outfit. SO far I have done this everyday!! So as I am focusing on my outward appearance, I am using this category to give myself a break inside. To appreciate and live in the present. To reward myself for good deeds.

So this week I have been using the candle as my indulgement. Last night, as I had people over I lit some votive candles, and two nights ago I lit scented candles in my room as I read and played on the computer!!

Its subtle but it creates a relaxing environment and shows me how something so little can have such a large impact!!

Reading: The Queen of Sublities

So I have gone through two books kinda quickly and am trying to read all the books I have before I put in time and space to buying new ones! So even though I've read/researched/watched so much on Anne Boleyn, I figured that would be a good and easy book to get me back into reading.

As expected its a typical historical fiction book, with typical female protagonists who justify their places in history.

But its cute, and it really accompanied me when it took me an additional four hours to fall asleep Monday night!