Creativity: Cards

So innitially I wanted one of my categories to write a card each week, and have it be this cathartic process. Also, who really writes cards anymorees. And really, doesn't everyone love receiving cards? I mean I remember in College that was all I wanted to receive. But I'm starting to become an adult(just starting), and I realize that I should start getting better at cards. So I decided to write a few today as my "creativity". I'm also super sick and trying not to talk today so I can get ready for my dress up/cultural event this weekend LAS VEGASSSS

Movie: The Terminator

So lately I have been sticking to 80s movies. All I can say is, I cannot believe that man is now our governor. I know I'm behind the times a bit, but I finally get the ridiculousness of it all!!

The movie had an interesting story, a dystopia created by going back in time and creating it. Very interesting. I am curious to see #2, as supposidly the governator is a good guy? I can't believe it!

I am actually glad that it wound up becoming quite unbelievable by the end, as not to get nightmares! I tend to scare easily!

I also am super sad that the line "come with me if you want to live" was super not dramatic whatsoever. That's like a classic line said in the most un passionate way.

Nature: Lake Merrit

I missed nature last week. While I was in nature at the festival and just in general, I did not devote a period of time to nature, so I wanted to make sure to get it done this week. I went for a walk with Liz around Lake Merrit. When I first moved here the Lake was one of my favorite places in the area. While I don't go as much, I have to say it still is. In 3 miles, around this man made lake(it was originally a tributary), you see residential, public, commercial, a bird sanctuary, farmers markets, you name it! I love the lake!

I also realized that I really haven't been working out much! That three mile walk really knocked the wind out of me! My legs, back, I was even out of breath! I really think I need to be kicking it up a notch physically! I've been getting super stressed, and I always forget the power of physical-ness.

Reading: Prep complete

It is incredible how much this character is like my own. I read the commentary in the back and they talk about how she is not a likeable character, however, and I completely disagree. She was real and she was honest. She was doing all she could, or at least how she thought she could.

This book really makes me realize how important good friends are. I felt similar to her through much of highschool, because I didn't really give myself a support system. I had some good friends, but no real circle. It wasn't until senior year that I had my own little group!

Then I reverted back in college, to my old mindset, which is similar to Lee's in the story. I had super low self esteem, questioned everything and everyone, and was not fun, for lack of a better way to say it. It wasn't until the last two years, where I pretty much existed through the eyes of my boyfriend, who did genuinly like me for me. The problem was, I didn't know how to be like that in front of others. I was constantly on alert, waiting for people to do I'm not even sure what. Unfortunately, he wasn't enough, and I was depending on him way too much.

Then in grad school I finally started to feel right again, and had a great group of friends. That continued in South East Asia and minus a rough first year, that continues now in Oakland. It is incredible how healing it is for people to see you and appreciate you for who you are.

I don't know where I went wrong in college exactly. I know, I still have many of the gut reactions to people and situations, especially with people taking advantage or disrespecting me, that I did back then. However, I also have these friends and family that will and have supported me through so much. I am so lucky to have found them, and from the looks of it, over and over and over again.

So what it really looks like, is that the 12 year old that still lurking inside there needs to grow up. The 18 year old who let her father choose her college, she needs to grow up too. She needs to realize how good she has it, how much she has grown, and her internal monologue, needs to quiet down to a whisper, or to nothing.

It's crazy how much you can learn from a book. It's also fun to talk about yourself in third person!

Cooking: Sourdough Strata with Tomatos and Greens

Stolen, as a camera pic from some magazine at the grocery store. We'll see how this turns out. I've done the prep work, but it needs to cool overnight. We'll see if I wake up early enough to even make it for tomorrow?

Reflection: week 5

This week was a tough one. I had a lot of trainings this week that put a damper on filling out my chart. I was also super irritable and grumpy this week, taking my rath out on several innocent and non innocent bystanders.

I can't decide though if the balance chart is helping or hurting. I really like it and enjoy how much it keeps me honest. I am definitely going to see it more though, as a guide. I would like to do all of them, but if I don't, to make sure I do that one in the next week. Due to work constraints, the movie, and creativity barely happened and nature was unable to happen.

I am also wondering if there are other factors that are severely affecting my mood such as birth control or "climate" at work? These are very strong factors and I'm sure that its really a combination. I have just felt this week that I wanted to take a break from everything. Work took up soo many extra hours this week, but also this week/weekend was full of great events to take part in. It was really tough.

Should I give in and just face that I only get to have a life on break times, do I screw the balance chart and learn meditation? I think for now I'll skate a long a few more weeks and see what happens.

Cultural: Now and Zen Fest

Free concert: Check
Golden Gate Park: Check
Plain White T's: Check
Natasha Bedingfield: Check
Sara Bareilles: Check
90 degree weather: Check
Miquila and Aileen: Priceless
Overall a super fan! Not too crowded, but crowded enough!! Loved hearing the songs that I know. Not too super excited about Sara Bareilles though. Her songs are great, and I'm a huge fan of her, but her onstage persona was not at all a match to her songs. She was drunk, I think, or she kept saying it, and she just seemed like a total ditzy party girl. So not too impressed, but otherwise, an EXCELLENT time!!

Dress up: Ellie's party

Off to Ellie's party in Santa Rosa, I decided to do a day make up and a strapless dress.

Creativity: Cake Decorating

Ellie, my old roommate, is leaving for Mexico. Super sad, but gave me a great opportunity to be creative! Knowing my old, old, old roommate Amy was into cake decorating, I decided to call her up and enlist her help to make and decorate(the creative part) a cake. Chose a cookie cake instead of traditional cake and had wayyyyy to much fun using her little decorating tool. When all was said and done, it actually looked pretty ridiculous, mostly because I decided I couldn't waste any of the frosting, so the entire box of confectionery sugar, plus stick of butter, plus whipping cream is completely on the cookie cake!!

Note to reader, I am already ashamed at the amount of sugar/frosting there is on the cake. This is why I am not even showing you the absolute finished product.

Movie: Neverending Story

Not even bothering with a picture for this movie. I'm sure that it would have been good if I watched it as a 10 year old boy. However, I watched it as a 27 year old girl. The original message of the movie, that the kid should not have his head completely in the clouds was very justified. Running around thinking his imagination is going to save him from bullies cannot really help him in the real world.

Reading: Prep

I'm nearly done with the book. As my 9th grade teacher said, we read to learn about ourselves. And man, am I ashamed to admit that this 14 year old protagonist is pretty much the same person as me!! She doesn't trust anyone, yet is constantly trying to impress everyone. She won't go to things, unless everyone makes it clear how much she is wanted there. She worries constantly about everything. She even had her first kiss with the most popular guy in school.

It is crazy how similar we are. The problem is she feels like an outsider, which is the main theme, because she is a scholarship student at a prep school. What is my excuse? Why do I in new situations feel like an outsider? Why do I still react to new situations the way a 14 year old does? Why don't I trust people? Why do I allow the unspoken social ladder bother me. Even in her story, she randomly speaks as her adult self and remarks how silly alot of her behavior is. From a rational perspective I totally get how silly my behavior is. That doesn't mean it changes it....

Physical: Dance Aerobics take 2

I tried it again. I was the only person who returned. The class started out with four people and ballooned up to 6. I enjoyed it alot more this time but still didn't get it. My body simply doesn't move that way. At least I didn't cry this time!!

Cooking: Chili and Cornbread

Knowing I stressed myself out a bit by waiting until the last minute, I decided to try to get at least one category done a day, knowing I'm planning to do two on Sunday. So I went to my friend Peter and asked him what he would make. He said cornbread, so cornbread I made. I also found that Chili went well with Cornbread, so I figured I'd do a 2-fer.

I wound up getting a chili packet of spices instead which made it take about half as long. I also didn't use any beans, but otherwise it was pretty much the same recipie. And now I have enough for days....

Prep Time:
15 Min

Cook Time:
40 Min

Ready In:
55 Min

Servings (Help)

USMetricCalculate

Original Recipe Yield 9 servings

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter
• 2/3 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 cup cornmeal
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease an 8 inch square pan.
2. Melt butter in large skillet. Remove from heat and stir in sugar. Quickly add eggs and beat until well blended. Combine buttermilk with baking soda and stir into mixture in pan. Stir in cornmeal, flour, and salt until well blended and few lumps remain. Pour batter into the prepared pan.
3. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Prep Time:
15 Min

Cook Time:
45 Min

Ready In:
1 Hr

Servings (Help)

USMetricCalculate

Original Recipe Yield 8 servings

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil
• 1 pound ground turkey
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 cups water
• 1 (28 ounce) can canned crushed tomatoes
• 1 (16 ounce) can canned kidney beans - drained, rinsed, and mashed
• 1 tablespoon garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

Directions

1. Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Place turkey in the pot, and cook until evenly brown. Stir in onion, and cook until tender.
2. Pour water into the pot. Mix in tomatoes, kidney beans, and garlic. Season chili powder, paprika, oregano, cayenne pepper, cumin, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 30 minutes.

Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 198 | Total Fat: 7.2g | Cholesterol: 42mg

Reflection: Week 4

I didn't do it. I didn't accomplish all of my categories this week. I had two different ideas about creativity, but when all was said and done, I really didn't do anything creative!

I am a little sad about that. Moreso, because I just see more and more things being left out of this. However, the spirit of this was to copy Benjamin Franklin, who didn't use this as a checklist, but as a monitor. If I think of it, like that I may be able to be ok if I am unable to meat one of my criteria!!

I really do like that I am doing this! It seems like most of my free time since I have begun this chart has been purposeful. When I have some free time, I first think of my chart and how I can make it work! I have been watching TV less(not having cable helps!), and have been mindlessly using the computer less! I have been enriching myself more, building more community and really calming myself down!! I am a little concerned, as school starts building momentum, I'll be able to do these types of activities less and less, especially the nature one, as the weather gets worse, but I really want to keep this up! I am the happiest I have been in a long time and I want to continue!

Reading: Prep

The book Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld centers around a freshman in highschool from Indiana heading to a prep school an hour away from Boston.

As my 9th grade teacher once said "You read to learn about yourself," and I find myself feeling very similar, even now, to the issues that she is going through in this book. She doesn't know who to befriend, feels like she can't disrupt the social ladder, always over annalyzing etc. I am about 100 pages in, and am intrigued to see how she develops as a characte

Nature: Lake Temescal

I did intend to go into nature for about two hours this week up to Lake Temescal to also get some reading done. Yet when the timing worked out, I was barely up there an hour. I am counting it for this week and already have a hike planned for next week to get more out of it next week!

Movie: Labyrinth

Um, ohmygosh, how have I NEVER seen this movie? This movie was made with me in mind. It was!! It's a story about a girl who's miserable about her upper middle class existence, adolescence and a blended family. She is supposed to watch her little brother and asks the "Goblin King" to take her brother away. She unfortunately was not careful what she wished for, and it comes true, sending her into the labyrinth, so she can eventually beat the Goblin King and get her brother back!

First of all, there is glitter everywhere, how can I not love that? Second, there are non scary monsters in it, my favorite kind! Third, the girl is headstrong, just like me. I can go on and on. Perhaps next week I'll watch the Goonies as I feel that it is the male version of this movie and I don't know how I have never seen that movie either?

There were some great morals in this tale, such as be careful what you wish for, the need for imagination, and don't be a brat! While obviously this was not an amazing movie for who I am at this moment, it was an awesome movie that I am miserable that I never watched as a child!!

Creativity: Watching someone else do it

I don't think this really counts, but I had an idea to make something and Miquila put it all together. I bought or had the supplies? That's gotta count right? I think unfortunately, that is the one thing that I will not be able to do this week. However, I do have a plan. We will see...

Cultural: Yom Kippur and Break the Fast

In my quest to keep myself cultural, and semi religious, I have been getting together my mostly non-Jewish friends and making them be Jewish!

At 530 on Friday evening I had my last meal of a whopper with cheese value meal, thinking that the food would be so bad for me that I wouldn't want to eat all day! Obviously that didn't happen. Went out Friday night and didn't touch a drink or food. Woke up around 1030 and headed to the Berkeley Hillel for Yom Kippur services. I find that I see going to services as getting credit. While I sing along with lots of the songs and I read the English version when I don't know the Hebrew, I am not sure how important going to services is, if I don't really understand it? I'm really struggling with this. I mean I love being Jewish and all, but I like the tradition and the culture, but there are some core beliefs about Judiasm and an all fearing G-d that I simply cannot fathom? I am really struggling with this as I try to really decide where I want to put my beliefs!

Anyways, I then spent the rest of the day making food and preparing for my Break the Fast/My brother's birthday Par-Tay! Miquila and Aimee came over early to help and it wound up going well! I even got Miquila to fast with me!(which in retrospect could have been an ultimate failure as we both get SUPER grumpy when we don't eat. Luckily that didn't happen). I had a bunch of both Jewish and non Jewish friends come. Miquila and I started with bananas as that's what we were told to do so it wouldn't shock our system. We had bagels, lox, cream cheese, tomatos, cheese, other veges and fruits, and egg/tuna/abrosia salad!! I believe a great time was had by all! I was even called a convener, as I brought together my friend Aimee and this guy that she went to elementary school with!! Crazy?!?! It was a Yom Kippur miracle!!

I'm really liking how I am able to combine my friends and my traditions. I have an excellent group of friends, who constantly indulge me in all that I want to do! I am very thankful for them and love the community that I have been building because of it!!

Dress up: Makeup

So a few weeks ago, my mom got me money to buy makeup. It has sat in the box ever since...until Thursday evening. Was going out in the city for a friend's last night out and I thought it would be a perfect time to bust out my make up. I had bought this little set, where all the colors go together. With them help of my roommate Mike and his friend Michelle, I was able to create an eye look that I think worked! I got several compliments on it at the bar! I'm not sure if the pictures really show the eye makeup, but you can see my attempt. It was also super humid out for some reason, hense my hair. My outfit was a purple sleeveless top that I put with a black belt A-line position and skinny jeans! Living with boys makes it harder to have good pictures taken of me.

Cooking: Almond Cookies

Kathryn and I, have both made it a goal to be cooking. Kathryn has devoted herself to three days a week. I'm not as much into cooking, as I am into cooking new things. So this week we decided to join forces and make a classic for her: Almond Cookies or as I know them as Mexican Wedding cookies. They were super easy to make and fabulous. Sorry pictures aren't of great quality ,they are taken with my camera phone and then copied off of facebook!

Physical: Dance Aerobics

Ok, so for so long I have wanted to workout in a fun way. When I pass belly dancing/pole dancing/salsa dancing classes in a window or on a poster, I have an immediate inclination to try it but never do it. Instead I settle with kickboxing as I'm fairly apt at it, and it is a good workout. But I've been longing for something that will get me a little more in tune with my body.

I really wanted to work out tonight, if nothing else to prove to myself that i can work and workout all in the same day. I saw this class on the schedule and went to check it out.

The instructor is super stereotypical flamboyant choreographer, who screams out YES alot and wants us to "give us all we have". He was pretty good at breaking down the steps so that we got them and it did feel like a pretty good workout.

However, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do the confidence thing. I couldn't do the fierceness, the sexiness, the boldness. I tried, but I just looked pissed off. A few times, when he said "I know you have more in there, you aren't giving me all you got" I nearly burst into tears? I am so confused by this random untapped emotion.

Why could something I've wanted to do make me so emotional, and how can I be so bad at it? I definitely want to go back just to fix whatever this is. Also I want to be able to dance fierce :)

Reflection: Week 3

Ending this week, I feel like I am back in summer. Yet, I spent alot of time on Saturday getting my work done! I know this is still early, but I think I still might be able to have a life, and have a career! Transitioning from Harbin, to an extra roommate all week, to a great weekend out in the city and then way up out of the city, was excellent!

A major thought I had for the week, again in terms of guys is that I think my new goal is to find a guy who likes the same qualities in me, that I like, the things I pride myself on.

Great week/weekend overall!

Cultural: Wine tasting in Santa Rosa

While we happened to be up near the Russian River to forgive our sins, it only seemed natural that we also did a little bit of wine tasting. Since we so enjoyed our times, we only hit up two, Harvest Moon and Sunce.
Harvest Moon was great because it had mostly zinfadels and Geverstameaners(spelling). Since Liz was a member, we got in for free, and got to walk around the grape area which was fun! The Ice Desert wine was by far the best, but they were all super expensive, so I didn't wind up getting any!
We next went to Suncee, which had 5 wine tastings for $5. The port was incredibly good! We spent a far longer time there, hanging out with another group of people, stuffing our faces and playing Bocci, a sport which could be its own cultural event! I got pretty good at it! I was also able to impress everyone with my chocolate peanut butter bars!
Random, but I came home to my roommates making a BBQ with steak, what could be better!!!

Dress up: Wine Country Dress

When I was in England, I bought what i believe to be one of the greatest dresses of all time. It was 24 pounds, which worked out roughly to be $50 US, one of the most expensive dresses I think I own. Its white with little flowers all over it! I love when I wear it, except that it had this little peculiarity in it that itched me on one shoulder. Finally after years of owning this dress I have fixed that!

I put the dress on today, as I did last year when I went wine tasting, and I have dubbed it, my wine country dress. Starting next week, I am hoping that dress up, will also include make up!!

Nature: Russian River

Worrying that I didn't fulfill my Jewish mission of forgiving and releasing my sins, I got my friends together for a little Tashlich get together.

We started by heading up to Russian River. We found access by a bridge about three miles from the exit and couldn't find a way down to the river, so we had "services" on the top of the bridge, throwing our sins(through the symbolism of bread) down to the river. We then, in our pretty little dresses, found a way to hike down to the river and hung out wading(except for Todd) in the river for a while before heading to wine tasting!

Movie: Where the Buffalo Roam

So one reason I am super excited to be living with boys is that they have vastly different interests then me. They tend to watch, listen and read things that I would never even think of doing. So today, knowing I had my movie to watch, I asked Drew what he would suggest. He suggested Where the Buffalo Roam, which is a tale of Hunter S. Thompson. My limited understanding of Hunter S. Thompson comes from several guys I've dated over the past few years who was intrigued by the idea of this man.

Before I go into my critique, I have to say that I did grade quizzes during the entire movie, so I may have missed a thing or two. However, I am not even remotely intrigued. The only thing I like about him, is that he bucked the rules/system and was still successful, you have to admire that! But, I am not a huge fan of his drinking/drugs/girls. I am also still very confused about his relationship with his lawyer. Perhaps I'll do a little more research on this man.

Cooking: Peanut Butter Bars

Probably the most ridiculously unhealthy thing in the world, but super delicious. Also from All recipies.com

Prep Time:
25 Min

Ready In:
1 Hr 25 Min

Servings (Help)

USMetricCalculate

Original Recipe Yield 1 - 9x13 inch pan

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter or margarine, melted
• 2 cups graham cracker crumbs
• 2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 4 tablespoons peanut butter

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, mix together the butter or margarine, graham cracker crumbs, confectioners' sugar, and 1 cup peanut butter until well blended. Press evenly into the bottom of an ungreased 9x13 inch pan.
2. In a metal bowl over simmering water, or in the microwave, melt the chocolate chips with the peanut butter, stirring occasionally until smooth. Spread over the prepared crust. Refrigerate for at least one hour before cutting into squares.

Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 532 | Total Fat: 36.6g | Cholesterol: 41mg